


Awakened

by This_kitty_has_claws



Series: Comatose Book 1 [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Wolverine and the X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Shameless Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-11-19 17:10:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11317914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/This_kitty_has_claws/pseuds/This_kitty_has_claws
Summary: You are the sister of Charles Xavier. You are part of the Avengers and dating Bucky Barnes. Unbeknownst to you Bucky is having an affair with Natasha. When you catch them in the act, things go downhill from there. You are a Mutant with similar powers to Jean, only with Immortality thrown in.





	1. Chapter 1

“Bucky,” you murmured, snuggling deeper into the man you love. Breathing in his scent, musky from being in this hole for a week, he stirs lightly, the arm gripping your waist tightening. 

A content grumble emits from his chest. “You’re awake,” he mumbles pulling away from you slightly to scan your face. “And whole,” he says in mild surprise, blue eyes twinkling with joy. 

“Hmmmm,” you reply, capturing his lips in a sinful kiss. 

Caught off guard, he gives a startled gasp, ripping himself away from you. “What was that?” His eyes are cold with anger, face set in a hard grimace.

Confusion and hurt course through you. “Did I do something wrong, love?” you ask, not remembering if you had a fight or had somehow angered him. 

“Are you being serious?” he grits out, detangling himself from you completely, registering the outright panic and confusion on your face “You are being serious. Fuck,” he mumbles. “What do you remember, (Y/N)?” he probes cautiously, scanning your features for any trace of a lie. 

You scrunch up your nose in concentration. “There was a mission… and an explosion?” you venture, “You were hurt, I stayed to protect you.” That sounded right, but there was more wasn't there? Why couldn't you remember? 

“And before we left for the mission?” he asks gently, crouching in front of you

“I… we had a fight? But we’re okay now right?” you ask. 

“Jesus,” he says as he rubs a hand down his face. What the fuck was he going to do now? “Yeah, babygirl. We’re okay,” he replies. He needed to get you out of here asap. Bruce needed to have a good long look at you. 

You nod once, tentatively reaching out a hand to cup his cheek “Then, why won't you touch me, Buck?” 

He gently places his hand over yours. “It’s not my place, (Y/N),” he says voice tinged with sadness, frustrated with your lack of memory.

You move closer to him, chest flush with his own. “I don’t understand,” you breathe against his lips. 

Logan… 

A memory nudges at the corners of your consciousness. Logan? Why the hell would you be thinking about him? Shrugging it off to trauma, you card your fingers through Bucky's hair. Tugging gently at the ends, just the way he likes, draws a small whimper from him. “Please, Bucky… I ache,” you murmur, placing gently kisses to his face, free hand traveling up his chest.

He sucks in a breath, keeping the moans threatening to spill from his lips under tight control. “Y/N),” he warns, “Ya need ta stop, doll,” he says as your hand slips under his shirt. Soft meets hard. It sends a wave of goosebumps across his skin. “Fuck!” he exclaims, the bulge in his pants threatening to tear his trousers open. “Please... stop,” he moans, losing the battle as you nip at his neck. His hands fly to your waist out of their own volition, pulling you closer to him as your sinful mouth explores his most sensitive spots. 

“It doesn't feel like you want me to stop, Sergeant,” you purr into his ear. The lewd moan which spills from him sends a delicious tingle down your spine. 

“Doll… you don't wanna do this,” he grits out, voice gravelly with barely concealed arousal. 

You smile to yourself, but it falters as guilt makes itself known. 

Logan… 

Ignoring the whispering voice in your mind, you continue your ministrations. “I love you, James… please?” you say as you capture his lip in a kiss, fierce and passionate, there’s a hollow pit inside you, an emotionless void, where Bucky’s kisses once set your body aflame, you now feel nothing but guilt, the acrid taste of it numbing the arousal that was so prevalent a moment ago.

Who do you belong to…...Mine…. 

Your mind supplies words of possession you know you’ve never heard from Bucky, stalling your movements. Where had you heard that? You break away from Bucky, biting at his bottom lip, searching for the spark of desire that had been there raging through you. You needed release, you needed something to quell this horrible, bone deep longing you felt, Bucky is panting, eyes screwed shut as you make for the button his pants, his eyes fly open, the hand tangled in your hair, pulling you away from him.

“Shit..Fuck..No.. nope. Stop!” he yelps, .Breathing heavily he scrambles backwards to put as much distance as he can between you, remorse clear as day on his face. “I can't do this. I’m sorry, but it’s not me you want,” he rambles in rapid fire succession. 

Rubbing at your smarting scalp, humiliated and confused, tears prick the corner of your eyes. 

He sighs. “Don't cry. Jesus, doll. There ain't nothing I want more than you wrapped around me, there ain't no one I love more than you, but I need ya ta understand that you really don't want ta do this.” He moves cautiously toward you. 

“Bucky, whats happening? I don't understand what’s going on!” you sob “Why can't i remember?” 

He engulfs you in a tight hug. “I know, doll. I think your memory got a little screwy somewhere in the hellfire. We ain't been together for a long time. I need ya ta understand that I ain't rejectin ya, and when ya remember, if ya still want this, I'll gladly give it ta ya.” He clenches his jaw in frustration. 

“We...we broke up? Why? I don't understand!” you cry, hot tears streaming down your face as you shake in Bucky’s arms. What had you done? 

“It’s okay, doll. We’ll figure this out,” he says as he rocks you backward and forth. “First, we just gotta get you home.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are the sister of Charles Xavier. You are part of the Avengers and dating Bucky Barnes. Unbeknownst to you Bucky is having an affair with Natasha. When you catch them in the act, things go downhill from there. You are a Mutant with similar powers to Jean, only with Immortality thrown in.

He sits completely still in the lounge area of the Avengers Compound, stewing in his heartbreak and anger. Mainly at you for not letting him save you, help you. For choosing the tin can over him. He could have shielded you. His healing abilities rivaled your own. He would have survived.

He doesn't understand why you stopped him. He was an X-Man. He ran head first into potentially life threatening situations on a daily basis. Why didn't you let him help you? 

Growling at his train of thought, Logan pushes himself back to the present, mentally preparing himself for Charles’s arrival. He would have to tell him you were gone, that he had failed in his promise. He sighs out a breath, running a hand through his hair and squeezing his eyes shut, pushing away the last image he had of you. He couldn't, no he wouldn't remember you that way. Charles did not need that mental image in his head.

The elevator doors pop open with a ping, revealing a serene looking Charles being wheeled in by Tony. The latter looking as if someone had kicked his puppy. Or dismantled his suit. It was a toss up. 

Charles seems to take no notice of Tony’s distress, narrowing in on a heart sick Logan. He smiles that secret smile of his. Blue eyes twinkling with a knowing light. 

“Pops,” Logan greets, slipping into the term of endearment subconsciously. 

Charles eyes him with amusement, dipping his head in acknowledgement.

Tony maneuvers Charles in front of a morose Logan, who can't seem to look Charles in the eye. “I’m sorry. I failed her. I failed you,” he says, willing back the torrent of emotion. To Logan's surprise, Charles merely smiles. 

“She made her choice, Logan. This is not your fault.”

He snorts at the remark. “Have you lost your mind, old man? She’s dead. Gone. Caput.” 

Charles merely chuckles “What makes you think she's dead, Logan?” 

His brain short circuits. Hope rising unwanted in his chest, claws unsheathing at the unexpected comment. “What do ya know?” he demands sitting ramrod straight in his chair, hazel eyes trained on ice blue ones, willing Charles to divulge all he knows. 

Charles seems to contemplate his next words carefully. “I felt her as she passed. I felt her pain, her agony as the flames engulfed her. I felt her love for you, Logan.” He smiles again, the shock on Logan's face almost comical. “I felt her heart beat, the brush of her mind as she came back to the world. I heard her screaming for you. I felt her fear. I felt Sergeant Barnes as his heart broke. She did not abandon you, Logan. She chose to save you.” Charles pauses, a slight frown marring his features “But there is something amiss. Her mind is not as it should be, not as bright or strong as it once was.” 

Logan sucks in a harsh breath, mind racing as he tries to process this new information “She’s alive? Where is she?” he barks out, tone clipped and harsh, barely containing a snarl as his animal nature rises to the surface.

“She is where you left her, but she is broken. I cannot put my finger on it,” Charles replies, gazing unseeing into the distance. 

Logan knows that look. The Professor is trying to connect, trying to find you. 

He snaps back to himself, his blue eyes shimmering with concealed emotion. “You still have time, Logan,” Charles says in a low voice, one that sends a spike of dread up Logan's spine. “But you must hurry. I cannot see how far the damage spans.” 

Logan stands abruptly facing a rapt Tony Stark. “Fuel up the jet and get the others. I'm gonna go get my girl.” 

Tony nods, smart ass remark distinctly absent from the exchange.

It sends a rush of pride through Logan. You had chosen your friends well. “I’ll bring her back, Charles. This I promise ya,” he says, Wolverine mask firmly on as he strategizes in his head. He was not going to fail you a third time. He would keep you close, keep you safe and sane for the rest of your long lives. He would kill anyone who got in his way. 

Charles regards Logan with barely concealed pity. The road before them will not be an easy one. Logan will either retreat or fight, win or lose. He couldn't tell. “Do not expect too much too soon. She is injured. I cannot tell to what extent. Do not push her, Logan.” 

Logan pauses, worry gnawing at his insides. No matter what shape you were in, he wouldn’t abandon you again. He strides away from Charles, entering the elevator. 

It was time to get his girl back.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are the sister of Charles Xavier. You are part of the Avengers and dating Bucky Barnes. Unbeknownst to you Bucky is having an affair with Natasha. When you catch them in the act, things go downhill from there. You are a Mutant with similar powers to Jean, only with Immortality thrown in.

They’d landed an hour ago, splitting up into different parties to better search the area. Logan was chomping at the bit. He needed to see your face again, hold you in his arms, feel your skin under his fingertips. So far they had no luck at finding your location, and it was slowly chipping away at his sanity. Sniffing the air, he tries to pick up a scent, but all he gets is charred wood and dead flesh. Had the professor got it wrong? Where the hell were you?

The crackle of the comm interrupts his reverie. 

“Abandoned building. 1 km north of your position,” Steve's curt voice filters through his ear. 

He takes off running, pushing his body to the limit. 

Please let her be there..please let her be safe

He pauses at the entrance, scenting the air.Picking up a faint trace of you, covered in layers of dirt and blood and… is that… arousal? He growls, anger boiling to the surface. Mine! his inner animal snarls. 

Stomping through, he catches a metal fist in his hand as Bucky Barnes makes his presence known. “Where. Is. She!” he barks out. This man's scent was all over his girl and he was ready to fucking murder. 

Bucky, to his credit, gestures to the back of the building. Guilt flashing briefly across his face, giving Logan pause. “What's goin on, tin can? Spit it out!” 

Bucky sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. “She doesn't remember anythin’,” he says, eyes down cast. 

“What the fuck does that mean?” Logan asks, a deadly calm settling over him. 

“When she woke up… she...” He clears his throat, testing Logan's already limited patience. “She thought we were still together. Uh… she doesn't remember the fight… or... you.” 

He’s hiding something. Logan can smell it on him. “What else?” he growls out. 

“You gotta understand she doesn't remember a damn thing other than you left her for another woman, there was an explosion, and that her and I were still a couple,” he rambles. 

Pain fills Logan as the implication of Bucky's words register in his mind. “You slept with her,” he says, resigned to the fact that he had lost. Again. 

“What? No! Well.. we kissed. But I stopped it!” he frantically tries to explain as Logan advances on him, teeth bared. “Look, we both know it ain't me she wants. Not anymore. So go inside and get your girl” Bucky sighs, the pain on his face as he says the words gives him pause.

Logan contemplates tearing the super soldier in front of him into bite size chunks. He’d been itching to put his claws through him for some time. What a joy that would be. Instead he nods once, moving toward your huddled figure. Pure sweet relief floods him. 

You were whole, unscathed, breathing and alive. 

“Hey, darlin’,” he says as he crouches in front of you, tipping your chin up so he can look into your eyes. 

You wrench yourself from his grasp, eyes hard and cold. 

The action is like a bucket of ice water over his heart. 

“Logan” you sneart, “Why are you here? Did Charles send you?” 

His heart shrivels and dies, any remaining hope scatters to the wind, entire galaxies flame and die in front of him as his world shrinks to nothing. “Ya really don't remember,” he states. 

You merely shake your head. You know you shouldn't be angry with him, but you can't remember why. You don't know why you have this overwhelming need to throw yourself around him, to kiss him breathless. 

Mine… Only mine

“Fuck,” he mutters. “That explosion really did a number on ya.” His tone is clipped and harsh, all softness gone from him. “Alright, get up. We’re leaving,” he commands. 

You roll your eyes and get to your feet, muscles stiff from disuse. What you wouldn't give for a hot shower, clean clothes, and a tooth brush. 

“I got her. Everyone get back to the jet. Barnes is alive too,” he says over the comms, ushering you outside, bristling as you reach for Bucky’s hand. 

To his credit, the former winter soldier hesitates slightly, looking to Logan for permission. The confusion on your face spurs him into action. Nodding his approval, he can only watch as you stride hand in hand out the door with James fucking Barnes. 

He was going to lose his damn mind. 

 

“So, what's the verdict, Doc?” Logan asks as Bruce finally concludes his physical on you. 

He looks up at Logan, sympathy swimming in his eyes. “You’re not going to like it, Logan,” Bruce replies, cautiously waiting for the Wolverines infamous temper to make itself known. To Bruce's surprise, he shrugs and gestures for him to continue. “Her mind hasn't fully healed yet. The explosion killed her. Her cells had to reform from nothing. It's a miracle of genetics,” he pauses, lost in the possibilities your powers could bring. The implication for cancer patients alone was enormous. “Her synapses have not regenerated yet, but her memories will return slowly as her brain regenerates. All she needs is time,” he reassures. 

“She'll remember?” Logan asks, a tentative spark of hope flaring to life only to be snuffed out by Bruce's next words. 

“Theoretically? Yes. There's no guarantee that she will regain 100% of her memories. She might only recall fragments. Only time will tell.” 

Logan groans. He's so tired, drained. All he wants to do is whisk you away and forget this shit ever happened. He doesn't know why he agreed to come here in the first place. He should have kept you firmly at the Mansion. Where it was safe. “What can I do to speed it up? I can't stand her making fucking googly eyes at the tin can. I'm inches away from ramming my claws so far up his ass his grandchildren will walk funny,” he snarls. 

Bruce huffs out a laugh covering it quickly with a cough. “Is her brother still here? He may be able to lend to her power, fix the broken fragments,” he suggests. 

Logan takes a moment to ponder this, watching you through the glass of Bruce's lab. 

You looked so frightened, so lost. Unsure of yourself and where you fit in. Clinging to the only memories which remain. Those of fucking Bucky, and your past relationship. 

He couldn't take another second of it. He would fix this, He didn't care if it took a lifetime. For fuck sakes he had nothing but time.

“Charles had to go back to the school. I'll call Storm, have her take over for the time being. Charles will wanna be here for her. They haven't always had the best relationship. She'll need him to anchor her,” Logan replies. 

Bruce clears his throat softly. “She'll need you too. Logan. Just because she can't remember doesn't mean she can't feel. Don't give up hope.”

It's Logan's turn to laugh, a deep humorless sound. “Hope is for the young and stupid. Ain't nothing good ever come outta hope, doc.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are the sister of Charles Xavier. You are part of the Avengers and dating Bucky Barnes. Unbeknownst to you Bucky is having an affair with Natasha. When you catch them in the act, things go downhill from there. You are a Mutant with similar powers to Jean, only with Immortality thrown in.

You were confused, a mess of swirling emotion. You were drawn to Logan, there was something squirming in the back of your mind. A whisper of a thought, a fleeting memory of strong arms, and loving words in the dark of night. A feeling of safety and acceptance. You knew the man floating through your memory wasn't Bucky. He had made it perfectly clear you were no longer together, that something so big, so damaging had happened you had fled. If only you could remember. It was on the tip of your tongue. 

You feel a gaze locked on you. Turning toward the source, you look straight into Logan’s hazel eyes, gasping at the lack of emotion in them. They’re dead, no life can be found there. You have an overwhelming urge to pummel whomever made him feel this way into the ground. 

Jean…..

Your mind reels back years, depositing you firmly on a hill. 

A shirtless Logan standing in front of you, he’s speaking to you, but the words are muffled, the edges of the memory fuzzy. 

“Don’t! Logan, please!” You feel the words slip from your mouth. 

“It has to be me, (Y/N),” he replies, turning to face the red clad figure in the distance, the sharp set of his jaw making your heart fall. 

“I can do it, Logan. You know I can. You don't have to take this on yourself!” You’re begging. Since when do you beg? 

“No!” he barks, “She’s my responsibility.” 

Gritting your teeth against the swelling emotion, you place a hand on his shoulder, turning him to face you. Your lips move of their own accord. “I love you,” you whisper, stepping closer to him. 

His breath picks up slightly, pupils dilating at the proximity. “I know,” he says as your lips meet his. 

You have never experienced this feeling. The feeling of pure joy, elation, such pure happiness you fear your heart will explode out of your chest. 

He pulls away, eyes shining with barely contained emotion. His eyes flicker over your shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he says as the person behind you puts you in a choke hold. 

Apparently, you’d been too distracted to notice Bobby coming up behind you. You choke out a scream as you watch Logan run toward Jean, flesh slipping off bone. You can hear the tearing of your vocal chords, the inhuman wail wrenches from you. The last words you hear as your world fades to black are:

“Logan! Run!”

You snap back to yourself, a world of color and pain fills your senses. You’re still screaming, your small frame shaking. 

Logan is crouched in front of you, trying to snap you out of whatever trance you had been placed in. “Wake up!” he yells into your face. “C’mon darlin! Come Back!” 

The panic in his voice is what brings you back to reality. You take in a huge breath of air, willing yourself to calm down, silently shedding the emotion you can't seem to understand. The love you held for the man who was kneeling on the floor in front of you is strange and confusing. Everything seems out of sequence. “You left. You ran. To her!” you sob into your hands. 

Logan’s face hardens. Pulling you toward him, he wraps himself around you. “I had to.” 

You scoff, pushing him as far as you can away from you. “You chose her over me. I have your fucking “had to” right here, Logan,” you snarl. “I begged! I fucking begged you to stay, you self-righteous motherfucker!” you screech, years of buried hurt finally coming out. 

“Calm down, (Y/N),” he grits out, not liking the path this conversation is going. Apparently with the return of memory, old emotion seems to pop up too. 

“Calm Down?” you screech “Years, Logan! We were together for fuckin years! I filled the gaps in in your memory went she couldn't! I took claws to the abdomen nearly every night!” The pent up rage spills out, wrapping around you in a red glow. “I loved you with everything I had, wolf man, and you threw it all back in my face. Every gesture, every word!” your voice drops in timber. “I hate you!” you hiss. 

His face falls, tears building in the corners of his eyes. “I’m sorry.” 

You bare your teeth, venom seeping out of you with your next words. “Get the fuck out. Don't come back!” you yell. 

He gives you a last searching look, hesitates briefly before he says, “It don't matter in what dark hole you’re stuck in, darlin’, I’ll always dig you out. I’ll find ya eventually.”

The words spark something inside of you, a rush of emotion that thaws the icy tendrils of hate surrounding your heart as Logan walks out. “I want Bucky,” you sob as you break down in earnest on the lab floor. “Bucky!” you cry.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> : You are the sister of Charles Xavier. You are part of the Avengers and dating Bucky Barnes. Unbeknownst to you Bucky is having an affair with Natasha. When you catch them in the act, things go downhill from there. You are a Mutant with similar powers to Jean, only with Immortality thrown in.

You’re hugging your knees to your chest, Logan's words playing on an endless loop in your head. Why was it so familiar? Where had you heard it before? Frustration boils over, you scream at the empty lab, glass shattering at the force of it. 

Bucky has you in his arms in an instant, the tight embrace no longer lending the comfort it once did. He smelled wrong, felt wrong. The lingering feelings you have for him pale in comparison to the rush you felt in Logan’s presence. 

You wish you knew what the hell was happening. 

“You okay, doll?” Bucky asks, concern etched on his brow. 

You merely nod, staring blankly at the wall in front of you. You couldn't deal with this. You wanted, no, needed to run. You wanted to go home, but you couldn't remember what home was. It wasn't the compound or the Mansion nor was it Bucky. “Get me out of here, please,” you ask him, the lack of emotion in your voice scaring you. 

“I’m sorry, doll. You’re gonna have ta stay here for a while.” 

You grit your teeth, clenching your jaw so tight you fear it might break. “I want to leave,” you reply. 

Bucky stares at you for a minute, discreetly beckoning Bruce over. “What ya need is rest, baby doll, Bruce will give you something.” 

Your head snaps up, panic sears through you. “No drugs!” you beg, frantically scrambling backwards. “Please, Bruce!” 

His face is covered in guilt. It doesn't stop him from sticking a hypodermic needle into your neck, the drug working quicker than you thought possible. 

“Please,” you whisper as you drift off. “I want to go home.”

Flashback

You’re woken by tossing and grunting beside you. It had been no different from any other night. 

His demons lay waste to his emotions in his sleep. He would tear through bedding, destroy mattresses.

You lost count of how many times you had to replace the bedroom furniture.

His back is arching off the bed, low whimpers emanating from his throat, claws fully extended as he grips the bedsheets so hard they rip. He’s drenched in sweat and shaking. 

It breaks your heart every damn time. You couldn't help him. The things that had been done to him were far beyond your reach. You’d spent years trying to undo the damage. No matter how hard you tried, you could not rid him of the nightmares. 

“Logan, you’re dreaming. Wake up,” you murmur against his ear, running your fingers through his hair, trying to soothe him in any way you could. 

He growls, body tensing further. 

You’re drifting into dangerous territory. The nightmare would reach its peak if you couldn't shake him out of it. And you were in no mood to buy new pajamas. Again. “Wake up, Logan. It’s not real!” you say louder. You retract your fingers, the grunts coming from him signaling the imminent arrival of a full blown Wolverine freak out. Turning to scramble out of bed, your in the middle of flinging the covers off you when Logan's claws pierce your chest. You scream in pain, back bowing as agony tears through you. 

It snaps Logan straight out of it. He removes his claws from your chest, blood dripping onto the comforter, the wounds he had created healing as quickly as he made them. “Fuck, darlin’! Are you alrigh’?” he says as he scans you for any other injuries. “Jesus, I’m so fucking sorry!” He’s falling apart in front of you, shaking with the weight of his nightmare, the weight his horrific past had left on him. 

“I’m okay,” you reassure him, smoothing a hand over his cheek. “I’m fine, Logan.” 

He chuckles dryly. “It ain't the physical wounds I'm worried about, (Y/N). One day you’re gonna wake up and realize that I broke you on the inside.” He sighs, fatigue making him look his age. “You should cut your losses. Bad things happen to the people I love.” 

You regard him calmly, tipping his chin so that you could look him in the eyes. “It doesn't matter what dark hole you’re stuck in, Logan. I’ll always dig you out.” A soft smile tugs the corner of your lips. “Your self loathing isn't going to run me off, Logan, best accept it. There’s no getting rid of me.” 

He smiles tentatively, eyeing your bloodied clothing. “Best get ya out of them clothes, darlin’.” He winks at you as you roll your eyes. 

“If you wanted me naked all you had to do was ask,” you giggle as he pounces on you, growling softly at your weak challenge. 

“I always want you naked.”

The dream fades slowly. Leaving a lingering warmth in its wake, the words ringing in your head as it disappears into the recesses of your subconscious. 

It doesn't matter what dark hole you’re stuck in, I’ll always dig you out.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> : You are the sister of Charles Xavier. You are part of the Avengers and dating Bucky Barnes. Unbeknownst to you Bucky is having an affair with Natasha. When you catch them in the act, things go downhill from there. You are a Mutant with similar powers to Jean, only with Immortality thrown in.

Logan is halfway down the hallway when he smells your fear, a pungent smell that nearly has him gagging, he growls as he races back to you, coming to a halt when he sees Bruce remove the needle from your neck. 

The anger that engulfs him has him seeing red, his entire world narrows to the small man in front of him, the beast inside him screaming to kill, to maim, to protect his mate from the people who would hurt her, he snarls, lips curling into a feral grimace. The heat of his rage burning a path through his veins. 

He stalks forward, grabbing an unsuspecting Bruce by his labcoat and shoving him into a wall. 

“You drugged her” the words guttural as he bites them out, slamming Bruce harder into the wall with every syllable. Bucky is behind him trying to dislodge the hold Logan has on the Hulk, it proves a futile endeavour. 

“Did she ask to be drugged? Did you give her a choice? Or did you jus’ stick the needle into her neck without a thought of the consequences?” growls slipping from him as he talks, no longer in control of himself, he doesn't care that Bruce seems to be fighting a battle of his own, all he wants to do is rip this fucker to pieces.

“Logan let him go” Bucky yells, as he puts logan in a choke hold with his metal arm, effectively cutting off his air way “I don’ want ta hurt ya pal, but the doc here could do some serious damage if ya piss him off” he explains, loosening his hold slightly “let him go” he asks, some semblance of sense pierces the veil of white hot anger he’s currently in, relaxing the hold he has on the Doctor, he levels him with the most hateful glare he can. 

“I don’ care what ya can turn into bub, if ya lay a hand on my girl again, I will introduce you to a new level of pain, fuck the green guy, i’ll kill ya both” he turns and throws a punch at Bucky's face with all the power he has “An’ you!” he roars “You who claims to love her let someone drug her?” clenching his fists against his unsheathing claws as Bucky picks himself off the floor, spitting blood as he does “you of all people should know the effect that has on someone, the fuck is wrong with you people” he spits, sidestepping the super soldier and regarding your limp form, he swears loudly under his breath, ripping the various pipes and tubes from your frame. He hauls you into his arms, cradling you gently against his chest and turns to leave.   
“Don't come near her again” he says as he walks away, leaving a gasping Bruce and fuming Bucky to clean up the mess he had made. 

It takes him a mere five minutes to reach the rooms designated to you, he lays you gently on the bed, smoothing stray hairs from your face, an action that seems too gentle for a man like Logan, he closes the bedroom door, locking it for good measure and informs the A.I to grant no one access without his express permission. Striding to the chest of doors, he picks out a pair of grey sweats and your favorite t-shirt. The blue hospital gown has acid rising in his throat, he needs to get you out of it, he can't stomach the sight of you looking so fragile. So broken. 

He strips you quickly, dressing you in record time, your limp body tugs at his heart, you weren't this person, you were strong and fierce. A beacon his dark world, he would bring you back to yourself no matter what it took. 

He places you underneath the covers, contemplating briefly to join you, to hold you once more in his arms. Where you belonged. It's a tempting thought, an overwhelming need, to breathe in your scent, nuzzle his face into your neck and bathe himself in your closeness. But he couldn't. You could barely look him in the face, the last thing he wanted to do was have you wake up to a man who you don't remember loving. 

Instead he shrugs off his leather jacket, leaving him in just his white wife beater, he strides toward the mini bar and pours himself a stiff glass of whiskey, he downs the glass in one, a eyes the bottle contemplatively. Shrugging he swaps the glass for the bottle, and takes a seat in armchair across from the bed.

He makes himself as comfortable as he can, his large frame not quite fitting into the chair, he takes a long draught from the bottle, resigning himself to a long night of watching you sleep. 

“You gotta come back to me darlin’ i can't do this without ya”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are the sister of Charles Xavier. You are part of the Avengers and dating Bucky Barnes. Unbeknownst to you Bucky is having an affair with Natasha. When you catch them in the act, things go downhill from there. You are a Mutant with similar powers to Jean, only with Immortality thrown in.

The shame of what he did bubbles up on the inside, for years he was an instrument of death, his will and mind taken from him forcefully, without consent and with little thought of his actions he had taken yours away too. The shattering realization of this sends him spiralling into a pit of self loathing so deep he feels he may never dig himself out. He doesn't even spare Bruce a glance as he exists the lab, he needs to spend a couple of hours burning off the emotion squirming underneath his skin. It leaves him feeling antsy and on edge, prime for a melt down. Or worse. 

In the past all he had to do was seek you out, lay his head on your lap and let himself go, you would play soothingly with his hair, whispering sweet nothings to him as he let go of his anger. Those days had long passed, he had made sure of it when he sought out Natasha. He had fucked up his own life, self destructing as soon as he felt the first sliver of insecurity. Sighing audibly he swings open the gym door, he finds Steve already doing his best to murder a punching bag, the tension rolling off him in waves. 

He moves cautiously toward him, careful to make as much noise as he can so he doesn't startle him, Steve slows down his punches, steadying the bag as he nods in greeting. 

“I don’t know what im doin pal” Bucky says, wasting no time in getting to the point “Somethin’s not right, the mission.. (Y/N) and Logan. I dunno” he rambles, failing to articulate his feelings. 

Steve quirks an eyebrow, a small twitch at the corner of his mouth betrays his amusement at his friend's lack of eloquence. “Sit down Buck, tell me what happened”

“I had Bruce drug her” he says as Steve sucks in a breath, groaning in frustration “Dammit Bucky” he snaps “What the hell were you thinking?”

“She was sobbin on the lab floor, begging to go home, she was distraught, lost in her own head. I didn't know how to help punk, you don’t know.. You couldn't know what we went through in that place” the memories flash harshly through his head, conjuring up images he wishes he could forget. 

“There was barely anythin left of her, skin burnt off, hair gone, she was a mass of blackened flesh, i’ve seen a lot of shit Steve, that was one of the worst” Steve nods in sympathy, not knowing how to support his friend. He clears his throat, settling on a “I’m sorry” and waits for Bucky to continue. 

“I thought for sure she was dead. And that it was my fault. I had never felt that amount of relief when she started comin back to herself. I had hope that i could make it right” his voice catches slightly as the lingering hurt makes itself known.

“I spent a week trying to get her to wake up, she was incoherent most of the time. Screaming for Logan” he shivers, Steve places a soothing hand on his friend's shoulder, lending comfort as best he can. 

“I thought for sure you were dead Buck” he whispers, “We all did. I found you and lost you again. I..didnt know what to do” he admits, “I was broken, bleeding, but i had never seen someone react the way Logan did, we had to knock him out, he tried to take out half the team on the plane ride back” Bucky snorts, that sounded about right, Logan was an immovable force. 

“He loves her punk, and she loves him and i'm getting in the way of that, i jus can't seem to let her go” running a hand through his hair in frustration. 

“I’m so angry all the time Steve, that mission went balls up from the minute we stepped off the plane, it’s like they knew we were comin’, and then i had to watch (Y/N) burn to save me, i had to listen to her scream, i had to feel the hope in my heart when she chose to stay, and then feel it break when she screamed his name.” 

Steve’s eyes harden, his jaw clicking with force as he clenches, he had hoped to have time before he had to tell Bucky what Tony had discovered. Logan had insisted on a full scale off the record investigation on why the mission had been compromised. Tony thought it best not to tell Logan as of yet, the man had enough on his plate as it is. 

“Buck there’s somethin you should know and you aint gonna like it” Steve says, Bucky’s head whips up, the tiredness in his face has Steve’s ever present worry for his friend worsen, he contemplates making something up, formulating a lie until Bucky is in a better frame of mind, he decides against his, his steel hard morals winning against his desire to save his friend pain. 

“We have a mole on the team. Tony found classified files on the mission sent to the Hydra base eight hours before we set off. He’s looking into it to see if he can't find any digital signatures” Bucky snarls out a string of profanities so vile Steve blushes a deep red and bites down on the urge to chastise him, he settles instead on a grunt of agreement, Bucky stands, his towering mass vibrating with anger. 

“Whoever it is Steve, I will watch them burn”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are the sister of Charles Xavier. You are part of the Avengers and dating Bucky Barnes. Unbeknownst to you Bucky is having an affair with Natasha. When you catch them in the act, things go downhill from there. You are a Mutant with similar powers to Jean, only with Immortality thrown in.

Waking slowly, the lingering affects of the drug throwing you off kilter. Mind foggy with confusion, and the voice in your head whispering Logan's name, the deep lingering longing settles like iron in your bones. You don't understand it, not yet. 

Turning onto your back, you contemplate the man in question. 

His eyes are closed, posture slumped, slouched over in a chair at your bedside. It certainly can’t be comfortable, but his arms are crossed and he seems to be sleeping. He confused you. 

You had an… intense relationship in the past. 

Passion and possession were a prominent part of Logan's personality. It had taken years for him to finally make a move on you, his self-hatred keeping him from doing anything besides flirting. He didn't so much ask you on a date, but rather showed up at your door at 2am with a bottle of whiskey and a smirk which he used to show you exactly how he felt about you. 

It was by far the best and most intense years of your life. 

Arguments were plentiful. 

He was a stubborn man, all alpha male, but he was soft too, gentle and caring.

What you couldn't figure out was what he meant to you now. 

He acted as if you were something more, like you’d had rekindled what had flamed out so spectacularly. 

It couldn’t be, but you knew you felt something for him. More than a something if you were honest with yourself. The love you felt every time those hazel eyes met yours sucked the breath straight out of you. You’re point is proven when his lashes lift, allowing those eyes to connect with yours, taking your breath away.

“Are ya gonna keep starin’, or are ya gonna say somethin?” he asks gruffly. 

The stench of alcohol fills your nose.You roll your eyes, masking the concern which flares inside you. “You’ve been drinking, Logan.” 

He grunts, “No shit, sherlock.” Shifting, uncomfortable in his chair, the irritation is clear on his face. “Are ya gonna ask me what you wanna ask, bub, or are we gonna keep dancing around it like idiots?”

Blushing furiously, biting down on your bottom lip, an action which tears a growl from Logan that you ignore, you lift your eyes to meet his. “What happened, Logan? What aren't you telling me. You act like we are... together.” 

He studies you for a long minute, before sighing. “We are. We have been for some months,” he confirms, making your heart stutter in your chest. 

A warm glow engulfs you as his words sink in, followed swiftly by confusion. “But... Bucky? What happened?” 

Logan guffaws, his fists clenching. He huffs, standing from the chair, and sits opposite you on the bed. His proximity makes you shiver in delight. “That ain't my place to tell ya. Ask him. It's not my story to tell,” he says as he reaches for your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours, a familiar action which makes your stomach do back flips.

“How are ya feelin?” he asks. 

You frown, forehead creasing. “Careful, Logan. Your human is showing,” you tease. 

He smiles warmly, an expression not often seen on his face. 

It brings a smile of your own to your face. 

He shuffles closer, a bit timidly, the smile slipping off his face.   
It has worry gnawing at you. “Are you okay?” you ask him. 

He merely sighs, dropping his head, not bothering to answer. 

It sends a shiver of dread down your spine to see this powerful man brought low before you. You don't know whether it's instinct or habit which has you pulling his head into your lap, humming a senseless tune under your breath while running your fingers through his hair. 

He sighs, relaxing enough to have a content grumble leaving his throat. “I’m sorry this happened to ya, darlin’. I'm gonna fix it,” he says “I promise ya.” 

Your hand slows in his hair, making him whine slightly. “That’s not your job, Logan. You can't fix this like you normally would, with fists and fighting. It happened, and I'm going to have to start to deal with it at some point. You can't win this fight for me.” 

He snorts. “I can damn well try! I ain't lettin you do this alone, darlin’. I called Charles. He’ll be here to help, too.” Sighing heavily, he rolls onto his back, stares up at you intently. “I want our life back. I want you back. I ain't givin up on us.” 

The words stir something in your memory, something you can't quite put your finger on. “Don't,” you reply. 

His eyes dim, pain fills them, but he’s taken your meaning wrong. 

“Don't give up on me, Logan,” you whisper.


End file.
